I have a few words to say about some elderly people (Pexels Cottonbro Studio)
At the risk of making living national treasure Maggie Beer a little mad, I want to say a few words about some old people.
I’ll contact Joe Biden right away.
Last weekend, at a large family gathering, I overheard my elfin niece venting her frustration about a phenomenon that you may be familiar with, or even the author of, depending on your age — because we are about to meet at a generational crossroads on this topic.
Grumpy and and fed up
My niece was waiting for a ride at a local cafe when she was rudely pushed aside by an older, grumpy-looking woman who wanted to be served first.
She could hardly believe it, though it was not the first time that she had displayed such pretensions at her own expense. The lady shrugged off her mild attempts to condemn such conduct with a world-weary impatience which, when described to me, I recognised at once: it was the worn-out irritation of this grumpy old woman.
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It’s a cliché, but it’s also archetypal—a self-identified archetype that’s not denied by a generation of women who are angry at the world. They’re women who have had enough: women who, to quote a friend of mine, are miserable where they should be having fun; women who are no longer flexible, who’ve weathered decades of other people’s bullshit to get here, and who don’t have time for your finer feelings.
When I gently pointed out this historical context to my niece, which she might find confusing, she nodded eagerly in agreement: she got it, but it wasn’t the first time she’d encountered this, and she had another question about the old man’s jaded state: “But why are so many people so rude about this?”
This brings me to a paradox about age that we don’t often acknowledge — one that, as Maggie points out in her excellent new TV series, Maggie Beale’s Great Commission, is particularly hard to see when the common experience of age is often one of disdain and disregard.
While frailty can cause suffering in older people, what about the entitlement that comes with it? The culture of grumpy old women and men made famous by the eponymous TV show, which tried to turn grumpy people into attractive people but actually succeeded in promoting a culture of complaining?
We cry out loudly about the so-called entitlement of Gen Z and Millennials, but what about the arrogance of older people who think they can vent their discontent with their current situation as they please?
Oh, now I’m pissing you off, am I? We don’t like to use the word “arrogance” to describe age — but this ultimately brings me to Joe Biden.
Ageing is not for the faint-hearted
It’s a question the world keeps asking itself when we see someone who may be struggling with ordinary cognitive decline fail to acknowledge reality.
What on earth is he thinking?
Concerns about U.S. President Joe Biden’s age and mental health have dominated U.S political discussion in recent weeks. [Reuters)
Are we witnessing some unhelpful combination of the American notion of Manifest Destiny (he was born to do this) and the continued egotism of being the only person who could have defeated Donald Trump.
I get it. You’ll feel really powerful after you achieve this.
But what I don’t understand is the behavior of others around him. Just as it’s your job as a spouse to prevent your loved one from leaving the house with arbitrarily grown ear/chin/nose hairs, it’s your job to prune unfettered ambition beyond your means. Where the hell is Jill Biden?
Taking away the car keys was never easy: Our father never forgave us, even after we learned that he would often drive around our suburb, trying every daycare until he found the right one to drop off his grandson.
But you can see how important it was that we finally got that license. And my dad didn’t take on the responsibility of brokering international peace talks.
Biden clings to a reality that seems arrogant to most of the populace but that few believe will still exist come election time: a reality that seems to be supported by a family that firmly believes that it has ushered in a new Camelot and now lives in it.
At this point, the legacy of success becomes toxic, and only ruthless self-reflection can help.
I’m sure Maggie would want to chat with me about these things, and before you welcome me back with angry letters accusing me of unfairly stereotyping you, please remember: for every smart, active, sharp, youthful older person you know or might know, there is another who is not.
Aging is not for the faint of heart. It is hard work and it takes you when you have nothing left to give – and it takes you when it finds you.
As he gets older, President Biden becomes less of a friend and more of a truth-teller. Maybe Maggie should talk to him.
Despite the irritating exchanges that may be about to ensue between you and me, I am glad to be back for my weekly chat with you.
Watch Creative Types with Virginia Trioli on ABC iview
The photo is an orange promotional photo of a 50-something woman named Virginia Trioli smiling brightly, with the caption: “Creative Type”.
I am also preparing for the next season of Creative Types, where I will take you into another world of the most beautiful minds in this country: you will join me on an adventure.
I also have a new podcast series, You Don’t Know Me, coming soon to the podcast channel, this time featuring some very illuminating conversations with lots of great Australians. I know you’re going to love it.
We have a fantastic array of articles for you this weekend, including a beautifully researched and presented interactive feature in which Jenny Cai and Cordelia Brown uncover the fascinating political and social history of anime as Japanese propaganda and escape from global aggression: My Neighbor Totoro, Not Totalitarianism.
What to read this weekend
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Growing up with fantasy: How animation transformed Japan from a military threat to a peddler of dreams
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Supermarket alternatives to help save on grocery bills
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Why are these women being diagnosed with the same brain disease as the football players?
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How do Australian workers’ commuting times compare to the rest of the world?
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DNA extracted from 52,000-year-old mammoth
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Chloe and Trent are homeless. They now live in a caravan by the river
Wishing you a safe and happy weekend, in a rare moment of life’s great algorithmic kindness, this classic 90s song – which I loved the first time I heard it – has made its way into my feeds and has enchanted me once again with its beauty. Singer Elizabeth Fraser of the Cocteau Twins joins the much-loved band Massive Attack to perform Teardrop, which I am delighted to present to you.
It’s good to be back. Rest in peace.
You can watch Virginia Trioli’s Creative Types on ABC TV and iview, and listen to her podcast You Don’t Know Me on the ABC Listen app.
